You see growing up these pictures where on my walls ....... yes, some of these actual pictures and all of these people.
Sharon Bruneau
Shawn Ray
Bev Francis
Lee Haney
Kim Chizevsky
Achim Albrecht
Dorian Yates
Lenda Murray
Yep! I know a good bit of people look at these pictures and are "grossed out" by them. I look at them and see a thing of beauty. I see determination, dedication, and possibilities. I see people who ran with their dreams. I always had dreams of "standing on a stage". But there was always this little nagging voice in my head that would say "Do you know what people will think? You aren't worthy!" Now that was back in the day when I gave a rats behind what others thought. All in the hopes of fitting in. I've since realized and grown into the fact that I don't want to fit in. I am just fine with who I am. You cannot fit a square peg in a round slot. And better yet .... I don't want to be shoved into any slots that I don't belong in.
For me personally, putting it out there that I want to stand on a stage has been 100% liberating. It might sound nuts to a lot of people. But it is like a weight has been lifted. I strive every single day to be the best me that I can be. And I feel as long as I was hiding what I want to be that it wasn't happening. I don't have aspirations of being any world class physique/body building champion. I have aspirations of full filling a dream. Of making myself the best me that I can be!
Along the road, there will be changes. There will be speed bumps. There will be derailments. I'm just preparing myself. There will be those that criticize, complain, and laugh at me. I don't give a ____. You can fill in that blank. I will still run. Not like I was. Not saying a 1/2 or full marathon won't be thrown in there. Or even a Ironman. But those are not my focus. Those will be just for fun. I don't give a crap about times and splits. I care about finishing those things. I care about going and having fun with my family for those things.
The best thing coming out of my 100% honesty is that I believe in me and my family believes in me. I have watched my son in the last few weeks take more of an interest in me "moving" than he ever has. For those that don't read my facebook page ... he told me that it would make him very proud to see me on stage. If there is one thing in this world that I know .....
I'M GONNA MAKE THAT BOY PROUD!
I know he is proud of me no matter what but he understands how much this means to me. It will take years. It will be a slow process. I will go it alone for a few months. Then I will be hiring a trainer.
I WILL MAKE MY DREAM A REALITY!
My hubby said that once I put my mind to something that there is no turning back. He is in for a wild ride and learning experience. So, I am I. My kids are pumped. My Momma is ready to sit in the audience. We are in for a four to five year roller coaster ride!
YOU IN?!
