Okay, where was I? Oh that is right, the language. Trust me, I will admit to swearing, not as much as in the past, but "WTF" is not something that I ever said or say. But you don't know what you might say until you're sitting there. John looked like a deer in the headlights. I sat there like a deer that had been hit by a car. He then started asking questions. A new appointment was made with a specialist/surgeon. Before that appointment .... more blood work. Not fun for me! I have the worlds "crappiest" veins.
Now, we had made the decision not to tell my parents anything was going on. Mom would be fine. She feels like I do. Why worry about the unknown? When you find out what it is .... then you worry! But we knew Dad wouldn't feel the same way. We both knew he would worry. He would really worry. Really worry. But when the appointment was made it was apparent we needed someone to watch the kids. Now, I can swing an appointment past them but John going with me is a completely different thing. So, I bucked up and told my Momma. Don't think Dad knows to this day. Trust me you'll see that it is okay!
Now, I know I wigged out a little. Tried to find a friend to tell. One wouldn't answer the phone because she was apparently upset with me. I just wanted to vent. But no. When I found one ... I did something abnormal. I cried when I told her. It is scary to think about. I'm not a medical professional but don't you think if someone has "something" there blood work might be "off" just a little bit? Mine wasn't. Each and everything that was done was GREAT! We headed off to the specialist/surgeon a little worried. By this point John was more worried than I. I remember him saying, with tears in his eyes, "There can't be anything wrong with you. You must be here for the rest of our lives." My response was "Honey, even if there is I'm like a two-dollar steak. Not only am I tough but I'm going to stick around in your teeth forever. And trust me, I'm going to be here to bug you for the next 90 years. You can't get rid of me that easy!"
I was told that he would pay to have patients with blood work like mine. That he couldn't remember seeing a patient with blood work as good as mine and that he viewed the CT scans. He assured me that the small nodules on my lymph nodes were not Lymphoma. Did not in any way shape or form resemble lymphoma and that I had absolutely none of the signs or symptoms of lymphoma. There was a brief talk concerning the Doctor that sent me there. He didn't understand "Why he would scare me like that?" I don't know either but I never went back to him. After a few Drs. visits and a second discussion with the specialist/surgeon, I made an appointment with my Dentist. I remembered something that was mentioned in passing. Well, to make a long story short .... when people say the condition of your "mouth" can affect every fiber of your being .... they are right! Here unknown to me, I had an infection that started in my mouth. Don't ask. LONG STORY! After a few rounds of pretty strong antibiotics and some dental work .... ALL WAS RESTORED! After 3 months of feeling like UGH, literally, I was back and ready to tackle anything in my path.
Now, I know that story was pretty anticlimactic. And I'm glad that it was! But that experience along with a few others changed my life! No more petty worries. No more putting stuff off. No more excuses. Life if short! This ride can come to a screeching halt any day! I knew these posts would create some "headaches" for me so I just want to take a minute to clarify somethings. Some of the things that I've heard.......
1. I don't lie to my husband or keep secrets. How I felt is the only thing that I can remember in our entire relationship that I've not shared right off the bat. Trust me, he knows all my thoughts, opinions, and "problems". One thing we vowed, from day 1, is that we would have no secrets. And I have kept that promise.
2. My health issues are my health issues. I share them when I feel it is needed. I never want to be one of those people who when asked "How are you today?" gives you the "Oh, well my shoulder is acting up. And my back has been hurting...." And on, and on, and on. If my eyes open, I can breathe, and can set out to conquer the day .... then my day is WONDERFUL. I may stand there before you in pain but what can anyone do about it. Nothing. My burdens are my burdens.
What I find interesting is that I sit here this morning writing this with a toothache. Some would say appropriate. I say ironic. Now, I'm getting ready to go out there and tackle anything this world may have to bring! My goal for today is to LOVE my family, LAUGH as much in one day as possible, break a good SWEAT, and consume some quality FUEL!
Tomorrow, will be updates of my challenges ..... feeling a little more ALIVE today. It was a cough free night! That means an entire night of sleep! GIVE ME A YIPPEE. GIVE ME A YAHOO!
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