Relationships......

Relationships?  What does that have to do with Love, Laugh, Sweat, and Fuel?  Throughout my life, I've always been pretty quite.  Kept to myself.  Made sure to please everyone.  Tried my hardest in everything.  Consumed things that I didn't want because it might make someone feel bad.  Let people treat me in a way that was not acceptable.  Didn't want to make anyone mad!  Now don't get me wrong.  I'm pretty much the same person as I was 10 years ago, 15 years ago, 20 years ago. 

There are a few differences, though.  Twenty years ago, I could pick up the phone.  Call any one of many friends and talk for hours.  Fifteen years ago, I could pick up the phone.  Call one of several friends and talk for hours.  Ten year ago, I could pick up the phone.  Call one of a few friends and talk for hours.  Now a days, I could pick up the phone.  And well, I'll end up on Facebook.  I know that sounds pathetic.  Don't feel bad for me.  That isn't what this post is about. 

Over the past 6 1/2 years, Jen has re-done her life.  Slowly changing the way she thinks.  Slowly changing the way she deals with things.  Slowly changing the way she eats.  Slowly changing the way she behaves.  Slowly changing the way she thinks.  Along that journey, some of my relationships have "morphed".  And, honestly, several have disappeared.  From time to time, I have sat back and reflected on those "missing" relationships.  After having been told everything from ... I feel like your judging me.  Right down to ... I just don't know you anymore. 

I've always been one of those people that is hard to get to know.  Trust me, I have a large number of people in my life that know nothing about me.  And the reason for that is one of two things.....1.  They haven't taken the time or 2.  I haven't given them the opportunity.   And I have found that with my "lifestyle change" it hasn't made it any easier.  I believe that the changes I've made are for the better. There is no turning back.  The way I feel out weighs any relationship (not counting the relationship with my husband or children).  I don't know whether seeing me make the necessary changes made others uncomfortable.  In a way that made them question themselves.  Or, as some have told me, that it made others jealous.  I really don't know.

I'm still pretty quite and keep to myself.  I don't worry about making others happy.  I make sure I'm happy.  I don't consume anything that I don't want.  And I will not let you treat me badly.  What I"m trying to get at is that relationships come and go but you will always be here.  You must do what is right for you.  Believe in yourself and what you are capable of.  Let no one tell you differently.  Expect only the best.  And do right by yourself!